1. A frustrated man, his parents are ill, and his family is too poor to marry a daughter-in-law. When I was desperate, I met the magic lamp. The magic lamp said, Write down your three wishes, and I will satisfy you. The frustrated man wrote: I wish my parents are healthy, my family is rich and my wife is beautiful. When the frustrated man came home, he saw that the house had become magnificent and opened the door, and his parents were in high spirits. The frustrated man rushed into his room and saw an air conditioner lying on the bed.
2. I went to my friend’s house to play. My friend went to the bathroom. His three-year-old child came up to me and asked, "Uncle, have you seen the new version of 100 yuan?"
I smiled and said, "Of course I have. Is there another one on my uncle?"
Child: "Can you show me!" "
I handed the money to the child, just as my friend came out of the bathroom. The child smiled and said, "Dad, my uncle gave me 100 yuan."
Friend: "Thank you uncle."
Child: "Thank you, uncle."
…………
On the bus, I found a beautiful woman, so I looked at her intently and almost had a nosebleed. At this time, the beauty made a request that caught me off guard. She asked me: What do you want? I was shocked, and it took me a long time to spit out the word: think! But it’s inconvenient here on the bus …
4. Anti-virus software.
My husband just arrived at home when he suddenly heard a man snoring. The man hesitated outside the door for 5 minutes, left silently and sent a text message to his wife: "Divorce! ! ！” Then throw away the mobile phone card and go far away … Three years later, they met by chance in another city, and his wife cried: "Why did you leave without saying goodbye?" The man outlined the situation at that time. The wife turned away and said simply, "That’s Rising antivirus software …!"
5. Women are really hard to serve.
I don’t know much about romance. I wanted to surprise my wife on her birthday yesterday, so I spent some private money and bought her a necklace.
At the moment I took out my necklace, she hugged me tightly, and the scene was quite romantic.
About ten seconds later, she made a devastating remark: Where did you get the money for the necklace …
6. A gentleman went ashore after taking a bath in the river when two ladies came. He hurriedly picked up a bucket and buckled it under it to hide his shame. When the two ladies approached, a lady said to him, "Sir, I have to tell you that we will accuse you of sexual harassment if you behave like this!" " The man asked inexplicably, "Why?" The lady replied, "The bucket in front of you has no bottom at all!" "
7. "Grandpa, sit down!" "No, girl, you young people work too hard every day. It’s good for your health if I stand a little longer." "Grandpa, you are so kind." "Girl, do me a favor. Just now, people in the car squeezed me out by 1 yuan. My waist is not good. Please help me pick it up." "Here you go, grandpa, you just lost a dollar. You are so anxious that you have a nosebleed. You can’t get too excited on a hot day. Wipe it quickly."
8. Sun Shangxiang tugged at Liu Bei’s ear and asked, "Did you say that brothers are like brothers and wives are like clothes? What do you take me for? "
Liu Bei: "Madam, don’t be angry. Because I was poor at that time, I didn’t expect to have new clothes in the future. "
9. I am a female. I have gained 30 pounds in love for a year. I can’t wear all the clothes I bought before. Recently, I am struggling to lose weight. Yesterday, I was in a hurry to go out and find clothes to wear. I saw an old pair of jeans in the closet. After I put them on, I found that my pants were still surplus. I was so excited at that time that my husband came into the room and asked if he had seen the pants he wore yesterday. . .
10. A puppy saw a wolf, rushed up to hug and desperately shouted for his father. The wolf was confused: "Son, I think you are mistaken. I am not your father. "Dog:" You are! They all call me German shepherd! "Wolf:" Did … I ever really … love dogs? "
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